You know that moment when something happens – someone says or does something that irritates you – and you start to feel the heat rise inside you.
That flicker of annoyance and the feeling that something’s not okay here.

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At this time of year, the irritations are many.
Family gatherings where everyone expects harmony.
Year-end reviews where you’re supposed to be composed and grateful.
Holiday pressure disguised as “quality time.”

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Immediately, your brain kicks in with a script you didn’t choose:
​Stay calm. Don’t make a big deal.
Be professional.

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So you swallow it.

You adjust your tone. You keep going. You call it being composed and “choosing your battles.”

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But if you’re honest, it’s also choosing not to be honest with yourself.

Because anger could be lurking beneath the surface and anger is often the thing we don’t want to name.

It feels unacceptable. Un-leader-like. Losing control.

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We’ve been taught that calm equals control and emotion equals weakness.
We’ve been rewarded for staying measured, rational, contained.
But underneath that polished exterior, something important is wanting to be known.

Here’s my take:
​Anger isn’t the problem. Anger is information.

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It tells you that something you care about has been crossed – a value, a boundary, a principle.
Anger says, “There is something here that matters.”

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If we just stop for a minute, notice the emotion and figure out what it’s telling us, we may get valuable information and clarity on how to act.

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But most of us never learned how to listen to anger without judging ourselves for it or worrying that we’ll be run by it.
So we suppress it, deny it and avoid it.

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We push it down until it turns into something else entirely:

• Resentment instead of clarity
• Passivity instead of presence
• Artificial harmony instead of truth

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In this week’s episode of UNFILTERED: Courageous Conversations about Anger and What your fire is trying to tell you, Amy and I go straight into the heart of anger –

why it gets such a bad rap,

what it’s really pointing to,

and how to turn it from a reaction you fear into a signal you can trust.

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We talk about:

• What anger reveals about what you care about most
• How suppression quietly distorts teams and relationships
• The double standard around “acceptable emotion” at work
• Six practical steps to move from reacting to responding with clarity and impact

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If you’ve ever said, “I’m fine,” while feeling something burning under the surface, this one is for you.

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Listen to

​UNFILTERED: Courageous Conversations about Anger and What your fire is trying to tell you​

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It might be you, or someone you know, who hides frustration behind professionalism.
Please pass it on if it hits a core truth.

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Here’s to hearing what anger is really trying to tell you and leading from that place.

P.S. Before you step into the year-end rush, give yourself a few minutes of honesty.

If “I’m fine” isn’t the whole story, this episode might speak to the part you’ve been overlooking.

Hit reply and let’s talk to get the clarity you’ve been missing.